9/28/06 07:42 am - SHIP!I haven't updated in yonks, and this doesn't really count but I got bored. |
![]() | You are viewing Log in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more | Explore LJ: Life Entertainment Music Culture News & Politics Technology |
9/28/06 07:42 am - SHIP!I haven't updated in yonks, and this doesn't really count but I got bored. |
4/4/06 11:49 pmI watched V for Vendetta the other day...besides being a totally awesome movie, I was rather amused to notice how similar my taste in movies, books and music is to V. I mean, I love Ella Fitzgerald, thought the book version of the Count of Monte Christo was much better than the movie...the more recent one... I guess you could say I'm old-fashioned. Which strangely enough I'd never considered myself as before.
Maybe cause I like computers and the internet and am not a huge technophobe it means that I'm modern... despite my classical leanings in other areas. Because most people my age watch ballet >.> Come to think of it I don't even own a mobile phone...because I don't want one. It's not like I'm restricted to older styles of music though...or books, or movies...I enjoy rock and punk and science fiction...the newer ones as well as the old. Y'know I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. No more late night random rantings. |
3/19/06 03:26 pmSo, I'm 22 now...yay? I had to work. And it sucked. So err...yeah.
|
3/15/06 08:23 amToday is just one of those days where I feel like curling up into a ball and crying. Just fucking balling my eyes out.
I'm just so horribly sick of everything. I don't think I could take even one more person being angry and/or disappointed with me. I'm tired because I had to stay up last night because I had an argument with a friend who is apparently disgusted with me because I'm OMG!Notavirgin... Like that's some big fucking issue that deeply reflects my personality....whatever. Mums pissed off with me because Dads said she cant stay at their house while we're in Newcastle because my aunty and her family will be staying there...and also because he isn't entirely comfortable with his ex-wife staying in his house. So mum has to stay at her sisters house, who isn't coming for no apparent reason other than they just couldn't give a shit and so she has no lift. And I've offered to give her some money for a cab but thats not good enough either and why am I always stuck as the fucking go between? Because I really love trying to defend one to the other all the time. In other news, my brother is moved out and living with his dad because he punched mum in the nose...and my sister is moving in, which is going to be fun....because she's 16, full of attitude and we've never really gotten along. Blah, it probably wont be that bad but....it just all feels like such a horrid mess. I just really don't want to deal with anybody at all right now, but of course I have things to do, commitments to keep up and heaven forbid I have any time to myself to just try and soak it all in a little. It's like I can't even let anyone know i'm upset because they'd just be more disappointed in me. |
2/25/06 11:13 pm - Stolen meme...Well, I don't think anyone will participate but eh, what the hell.
1) Hit shuffle, pick the first 25. 2) Take a line from each song and post them. 3) Have your friends page try to guess them, without searching for lyrics. 4) As you guess, I'll strikeout. 1 - Walking down the street with some evil in my eye 2 - You can plan on me 3 - And you've got your manipulations, they cut me down to size. 4 - We'll walk through the darkness 5 - Wake up you sleepy head 6 - Some others I've seen, might never be mean 7 - Some people don't know 8 - When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the raindrops tumble all around 9 - 10 - It only leads to trouble and seat wetting 11 - 12 - See me ride out of the sunset 13 - I didn't know I was hurting you so 14 - I check my dipstick; you need lubrication honey 15 - LIke a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door 16 - Just to have somwhere to go to 18 - Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight 19 - And all her wishes have finally come true 20 - 21 - Memories I will never find |
2/14/06 11:14 am - CursesWow, my life is going completely nutso.
It all started on Mums birthday when her car broke down. Not just broke down, but died completely and irrevocably. So she scrapped it for $450. That was ok, the car was on its way out anyway, and I was purchasing a car from a work colleague anyway. So now I drive to work with mum in the car and she drives home so she can use it during the day. Most nights I can get a lift home, and if I cant she picks me up and I drive home. It works. But then, the next week, our brand new fishtank decided to suddenly get a crack in it and completely flood our loungeroom. Luckily, we did save the fish and the insurance covered getting the carpet cleaned and dried but it was still a real pain in the arse to wake up to on a Saturday morning. In the meantime I've been rearranging my room, buying curtains and bedspreads and moving everything around and it's looking quite pretty. Then my computer dies. At first it just flickers, but soon it refuses to even boot up. I had an idea that my video card had died (and I was completely right about it) so I took it to the tech to check and I need a new one which doesn't arrive till the 17th. No WoW for me for a while. Meanwhile, in an attempt to fix it I completely wipe everything that was on there and reinstall windows from scratch. Luckily I was able to save all my music and pictures onto my mp3 player, but everything else is now bye bye. I hate that. Then, one day I woke up and my internet connection had decided for no apparent reason that it didn't want to connect. So I spent 4 hours on the phone with my ISP trying different things to work out why. There has been some suspicious looking dude playing with the phone lines at the end of the street.... At any rate, nothing was fixed. I have a spare modem so I plugged it in and it works, but only sometimes. Not sure if this is a problem with my computer or the line but it's most annoying. Anyway, after getting my internet back, Mum and I decided to go for a drive and get some movies and alcohol and relax for a bit. Good plan huh? When we got back the washing machine had flooded. Luckily it hadn't flooded enough to go into the bedrooms - it stayed on the tiles and was easier to fix. We had a look in th e washing machine, pulled out a pencil from the bottom and figured that had fixed it. Wrong. Next morning when we used the washing machine again it flooded again. So mum picked up the washing machine and laid it on its side and I had a look to see where it was flooding from...a tube had pulled loose, so it was easy to fix. Just a pain in the arse to clean up again. Oh, and somewhere along the line the vacuum cleaner decided to not work as well. All this is happening and somehow we're laughing about it. Maybe it's just that if you don't laugh you'll cry. It does make me wonder why this is all happening. My theory is, in the words of Kestrel : There is a god, and he hates me. Still, could be worse. ~Rae |
2/11/06 03:29 am - Bold those you've read....Guess I have a lot of reading to catch up on... Anon., Beowulf Achebe, Chinua Things Fall Apart Agee, James A Death in the Family Austen, Jane Pride and Prejudice Baldwin, James Go Tell It on the Mountain Beckett, Samuel Waiting for Godot Bellow, Saul The Adventures of Augie March Brontë, Charlotte Jane Eyre Brontë, Emily Wuthering Heights Camus, Albert The Stranger Cather, Willa Death Comes for the Archbishop Chaucer, Geoffrey The Canterbury Tales Chekhov, Anton The Cherry Orchard Chopin, Kate The Awakening Conrad, Joseph Heart of Darkness Cooper, James Fenimore The Last of the Mohicans Crane, Stephen The Red Badge of Courage Dante, Inferno de Cervantes, Miguel Don Quixote Defoe, Daniel Robinson Crusoe Dickens, Charles A Tale of Two Cities Dostoyevsky, Fyodor Crime and Punishment Douglass, Frederick Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass Dreiser, Theodore An American Tragedy Dumas, Alexandre The Three Musketeers Eliot, George The Mill on the Floss Ellison, Ralph Invisible Man Emerson, Ralph Waldo Selected Essays Faulkner, William As I Lay Dying Faulkner, William The Sound and the Fury Fielding, Henry Tom Jones Fitzgerald, F. Scott The Great Gatsby Flaubert, Gustave Madame Bovary Ford, Ford Madox The Good Soldier Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von Faust Golding, William Lord of the Flies Hardy, Thomas Tess of the d'Urbervilles Hawthorne, Nathaniel The Scarlet Letter Heller, Joseph Catch 22 Hemingway, Ernest A Farewell to Arms Homer The Iliad Homer The Odyssey Hugo, Victor The Hunchback of Notre Dame Hurston, Zora Neale Their Eyes Were Watching God Huxley, Aldous Brave New World Ibsen, Henrik A Doll's House James, Henry The Portrait of a Lady James, Henry The Turn of the Screw Joyce, James A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man Kafka, Franz The Metamorphosis Kingston, Maxine Hong The Woman Warrior Lee, Harper To Kill a Mockingbird Lewis, Sinclair Babbitt London, Jack The Call of the Wild Mann, Thomas The Magic Mountain Marquez, Gabriel García One Hundred Years of Solitude Melville, Herman Bartleby the Scrivener Melville, Herman Moby Dick Miller, Arthur The Crucible Morrison, Toni Beloved O'Connor, Flannery A Good Man is Hard to Find O'Neill, Eugene Long Day's Journey into Night Orwell, George Animal Farm Pasternak, Boris Doctor Zhivago Plath, Sylvia The Bell Jar Poe, Edgar Allan Selected Tales Proust, Marcel Swann's Way Pynchon, Thomas The Crying of Lot 49 Remarque, Erich Maria All Quiet on the Western Front Rostand, Edmond Cyrano de Bergerac Roth, Henry Call It Sleep Salinger, J.D. The Catcher in the Rye Shakespeare, William Hamlet Shakespeare, William Macbeth Shakespeare, William A Midsummer Night's Dream Shakespeare, William Romeo and Juliet Shaw, George Bernard Pygmalion Shelley, Mary Frankenstein Silko, Leslie Marmon Ceremony Solzhenitsyn, Alexander One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich Sophocles Antigone Sophocles Oedipus Rex Steinbeck, John The Grapes of Wrath Stevenson, Robert Louis Treasure Island Stowe, Harriet Beecher Uncle Tom's Cabin Swift, Jonathan Gulliver's Travels Thackeray, William Vanity Fair Thoreau, Henry David Walden Tolstoy, Leo War and Peace Turgenev, Ivan Fathers and Sons Twain, Mark The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Voltaire Candide Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. Slaughterhouse-Five Walker, Alice The Color Purple Wharton, Edith The House of Mirth Welty, Eudora Collected Stories Whitman, Walt Leaves of Grass Wilde, Oscar The Picture of Dorian Gray Williams, Tennessee The Glass Menagerie Woolf, Virginia To the Lighthouse Wright, Richard Native Son |
1/7/06 05:09 pm - Belated UpdatednessI meant to post straight after christmas, to try and sort out in my head how I felt about it all. But I got caught up in fami,ly and work and laziness and so didnt. I will now though, finally, before I forget.
Christmas day started with me actually being the first one to wake up, at 6am. Then mum woke up as well and we actually had to wake the kids up. I found that incredibly weird, but ok. We all opened our presents...well the kids opened theirs and I opened my Firefly Dvd which I wrapped up for myself. I think mum got a little jealous that the kids seemed to love the presents I got them more than her presents. Oh well.:P We were late to get to my aunties house where the christmas party thing was being held, partly because we were running late when we left and partly because I got us all horribly lost. But we did get there eventually. At first it was ok, I actually did get presents from all my aunties and uncles and grandparents (and my mp3 player from my dad arrived the other day and I love it sooo much) so that was cool. All the kids seemed to be getting on well, playing my cousins' itoy, having a ball. We ate and chatted and it was a little awkward, but not too bad and we all seemed to get on ok. Then the afternoon came and the kids, especially my brother (who has ADHD and Aspergers) got tired and cranky and started to muck up a little. It was raining and he refused to come inside....that was the start of it. Then my olderish brother decided to be a smart arse and start the car when mum asked him not to...that was a little embarassing. Then my youngest brother got into a fight with my cousins over the hammock and ended up kicking my sister in the nose...on purpose. Then he called my Dad an arsehole.... it was really uncomfortable after that, and mum took the kids home and I had to stay. So I was feeling bad already, then I was sitting on a beanbag not really doing anything and I overheard my stepmother commenting to my aunties about how plain my youngest sister is. I was so horribly pissed off, I couldn't believe she said that because she was perfectly good the whole time she was there, played nicely...she's not even an ugly kid she just happens to be missing her two front teeth and have a bad haircut atm. I thought it was just such an unnecessary, and bitchy thing to say...I was so grateful to my fave aunty Kerry for sticking up for her... It really hurt though and I felt completely miserable. I had to leave the room and just lay in bed for about an hour, crying...some Christmas huh? It kind of ruined it for me actually... Because I don't fit in with my own family, not at all. They're *all* stunningly gorgeous people with great bodies, and they're all rich and blah blah blah. They're all so shallow. Except Kerry, she was the only one who even noticed when I wasn't having a good time and talked to me... It made me not even want to have a birthday party anymore...because they'll all be there and bleh. Who wants that? So anyway that was my christmas... |
12/25/05 12:43 am - And so this is Christmas...Christmas is only a few short hours away...and I'm nervous. This year will be the first year I'll spend with both parents since I was 9 months old. I'm worried that it's not going to all go smoothly or something. I want everything to just be perfect, that they'll all like her and that my brothers and sisters on mums side will behave themselves and yeah. I don't want to be embarassed or have a bad christmas. I am excited though, and looking forward to it. And it's not normal for your brother and sister to think each other is hot right? Even if they're not related to each other... I've also spent a ridiculous amount of money on presents this year and have none to open tommorow. Well I tell a lie, there is the firefox dvd I bought for myself, but I don't think it really counts. I am getting presents, I've just already installed the RAM and the iriver won't arrive for afew days. Bah. Gift of giving right? Still none of my grandparents or uncles and aunties have bought me anything cause I'm too old. And they all forgot my birthday last year. I feel so excluded from my family sometimes. Especially since I was kicked out... Like I'm the black sheep because I'm fat and weird and geeky and they don't get me. I mean ok, I don't see most of them often cause they live far away and I know they love me and stuff but I always feel the need to prove not only myself to them but my mum and siblings and everything up here. Blah upon it all. All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. Damnit. :P Did the colour quiz again to see how I was feeling today.
Fairly accurate I feel.... Now to bed! |
12/17/05 02:03 pm - ContentednessI am sitting here in my shiny new computer chair, feeling completely at ease and content. Overall I'd say I've had a good week this week. Went to see King Kong Wednesday night, and fell in love with both Adrien Brody and a giant ape. -_- It was really good though, I thoroughly enjoyed it. And thursday night work shouted us to go see Rumour Has It, which was really funny. And we got free stuff and free food and alcohol. And we were the first in the world to see it. God I love my job. Have been drawing a little bit lately, which is good. Need to practise more though. Thinking I should probably write something one of these days but I'm just so busy I never seem to get time/inspiration. Such is life. Randomly, I have a lightning scar. Sure it's on my finger not my forehead, but still. Cool huh? :p And Adrien Brody would make the perfect Snape *adores his nose* P.S Phone companies are the devil. ~Rae |
12/2/05 12:01 am - Good times!I had what was undoubtedly a thoroughly enjoyable day. I'm in a rather brilliant mood, and I love it ^^
Work was fun, most of it we sat around talking and laughing and well...that's always fun. We did a bit of roleplaying on the phones, testing each others newly learnt skills and the like. I displayed my geekiness when it was my turn as a customer - I was given the name Christine to use. Well, being the huge phan that I am, I decided to make her last name Daae. All well and good. Then I had to make up a partners name for her. I thought Raoul was a little too weird and complex so I said Ray, with a last name of Chagny, drooping the de. Unfortunately, I didn't think how that sounded...so I was staring ahead, in the direction of a colleague and said what sounded like "Shag me." Naturally he cracked up, which made me realize what I'd said and cracked up as well, and pretty soon everyone in the room was laughing, with me trying to control myself and spell it out to the poor girl on the other end of the phone. T'was much fun. ^_^ After work I went shopping and bought a couple of new tops and a new bra strap so that I can wear my halter neck bra on Saturday night and wear my fancy dress to the work Christmas party. Should be fun. And of course I went to see Goblet of Fire, since it's finally come out. I actually really enjoyed it. Although the beginning was a little disconcerting...they left out so much and chopped and changed everywhere it was difficult to follow the storyline a little. Well, conceivably would have been if I hadn't already known it. There were a few other things about the movie that bugged me as well - the new Dumbledore for one...don't recall him being so damned angry in the book...what happened to the twinkle in the eye? Le sigh. And whats with the american accent? Are there no other old english actors?! The totally unsubtle foreshadowing of the Barty/Moody storyline...it really didn't need to be so obvoius. And that little tongue thing he did really bugged me too. And Fleur wasn't nearly pretty enough for my liking. *is picky* Other things I really loved though, and overall it was a good experience. Fred and George were perfectly amusing as always, as was Ron..."I just like it when they walk." - Had me in stitches. =P Snape hitting the students over the head when they were supposed to be studying - so awesome. *loves Snape* Harry spitting on himself when Cho smiled at him. There were so many awesome moments. And am I the only one who thought baby!voldemort was cute?! I mean I know it was meant to be ugly and urgh and stuff....but I thought it was adorable. Am I sick? :P Oh and I so want one of those miniature dragons for christmas! They were awesome! Voldemort was great....he looked like he was supposed to look, and was still somehow sexy....*boggles* Ralph Fiennes cannot, apparently, be uglified. Actually, seeing him made me really want them to do a remake of the Phantom of the opera movie - actually following the description of his face and removing his nose. It can be done, *and* sexily. ^^ That is all that I can think of right now....oh and theres a pretty awesome storm outside too! *loves storms* T'is late so I shall retire. ~Rae |
11/29/05 10:30 pm - MusingsWhy is it that wherever I go, people seem to just automatically assume that I'm good at everything? That I'm smart, I'll know the answer, I'll know how to do it, I can fix it... I don't generally go around volunteering information - on the contrary I usually stay quiet and let someone else answer a question unless no one else can. Or unless called upon. I really don't pretend to be an expert on everything - I know I'm not, and say so. And yet people still unerringly ask me for advice or how to do something. Today at work - I'm currently in training - one of the guys in the training group told me that I was going to be picked on a lot now that it was clear that I was the best in the group. I was frankly amazed that he considered me that - I am the youngest in our training group, and the least experienced by far. I have a little advantage because I have the product at home and already know about it - but so do a few other people so really it's not much.
But because I managed to succesfully go through a trial scenario, using the right computer program, following the correct procedure and fixing the problem without difficulty, I'm suddenly the best in the class. Don't get me wrong, I was pleased by the compliment. And doubly pleased that the rest of the group seemed to agree. But, I guess I don't like the pressure that that kind of stigma comes with. When people think you're better, they expect more from you. If I make a mistake, it's somehow more of a mistake than if anyone else made it. I've gotten that ...pressure...all my life and it's always bugged me. I could get 20/20 on a spelling test 9 weeks in a row and on the 10th week get one word wrong...and despite the fact that everyone else consistently make mistakes, my one mistake is seen as a big thing. I don't think I'd like people to think me stupid either, that would bug me more I guess. I just wish people would stop expecting things from me. That's all. ~Rae |
11/23/05 09:45 pm - House....Wow. Just wow. Watched the season finale for season one tonight, was sooo sad. I cried. The angst! I'm turning into such a girly cry baby, it's really pathetic. I'm going to buy the whole season on dvd as soon as it comes out next week, cause mums missed the past couple of episodes. I know she'll be grateful. And prolly cry to. I'm aware that House/Cameron isn't overly popular online, but I'm a huge fan. The ANGST, especially with Stacy thrown in. Can't wait till next year, think I'm gonna have to dl some episodes. Of House, and Hex, and Firefly and well....yeah, you get the picture. Thats all for now. Rae |
11/15/05 07:11 pm - Masquerade, paper faces on display...So I've been planning my birthday party with Dad and Michelle, and decided what I want for my birthday party. Still rather annoyed that my Aunty is planning to get married the day after my birthday, but what can you do? I'm just going to have it the week before. And it's all worked out, we're going to hire a cruise boat on the Harbour, exclusively for us and cruise around during dinner. And it shall be a masquerade themed party, so everyone has to be in fancy dress and....it's going to be such fun! I'm getting all excited thinking about it....I cant wait to design my costume and mask and everything. It'll be nice to have an excuse to dress all girly.
Squee! =D |
11/8/05 03:06 pm - WritingI have an idea for a Harry Potter fan-fiction I really want to write. It centres around Severus Snape in his days at Hogwarts as a student, and his feelings for Lily Evans, how he became to be a Death-Eater and why he turned back. I'll do my best to keep it as canonical as possible, though the events will be my own theories as to what could have happened. I don't know whether to go with the unrequited love angle, or let them have some sort of ilicit relationship. I'll see how it goes anyway. There will certainly be lots and lots of angst and so forth. I'm thinking he will be a bitter, reclusive teenage boy. And perhaps he'll seriously consider making a love potion...but I dont think he'd actually give it to her. I think he has some morals.
If you've heard the song "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung, that was my source of inspiration for wanting to write this. And if you havent heard it I strongly suggest you go and download it right now. Because it is a beautiful song. Thats all for now. |
10/30/05 03:01 pm - Color QuizYour Existing Situation
Easily affected by her environment and readily moved by the emotions of others. Seeks congenial relationships and an occupation which will promote them. Your Stress Sources Sensitive, and susceptible to gentleness and delicacy of feeling, with a desire to blend into some sort of mystic fusion of erotic harmony. However, this desire remains unsatisfied due to the lack of a suitable partner or adverse conditions, and she keeps a strict and watchful control on her emotional relationships as she needs to know precisely where she stands. Is fastidious, esthetic, and has a cultured taste which allows her to form and express her own taste and judgment, especially in the fields of art and artistic creativity. Strives to ally with others who can assist her in her intellectual or artistic growth. Your Restrained Characteristics The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are. Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation. Your Desired Objective Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in action. Activity is directed towards success or conquest and there is a desire to live life to the fullest. Your Actual Problem Wants to act freely and uninhibitedly, but is restrained by her need to have things on a rational, consistent, and clearly-defined basis. Your Actual Problem #2 Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments. It's kind of funny how eerily accurate this is. |
10/23/05 12:29 pm - Wistful ramblingsI had a dream about a boy I thought I was over last night. I guess I'm not as over him as I thought I was. I havent even seen him for nearly two years, it's not normal to still have these kinds of feelings. Then again, when was I ever normal?
I find myself wondering, what did I do wrong? I know there were moments that he was attracted to me, I'm not imagining it. And he certainly seemed to enjoy my company, if only as a friend. I think the fact that I'm not the best looking girl in the world made him hesitate. It would make anyone hesitate if truth be known. I'm ugly. I have this sick certainty that if I had been pretty, things would have worked out differently. Why doesn't that make me hate him for being shallow? Why do I have to be cursed with understanding his point of view, relating to him, and being unable to condemn him for it? This is horrible. I'm going to go and watch some random movie and try and get him off my mind again. |
10/19/05 04:07 am - Hrm...I suppose I ought to write something here. I've had this journal for a little while now, just been using it to browse livejournal and see whats out there. There are a lot of things I am interested in, and from reading other peoples journals and checking out communities and so forth, I think I want in. Looks like fun. Something to kill that nasty boredom thing anyway. So yeah, Look out LJ here I come! |